Eye and Mind Candy

Disclaimers: white, cisfemme, pansexual, homoromantic

gunlust:

giving trans women roles to cis men 

  • robs trans women actors (who can’t get cis women roles) and gives those roles to cis men who already have an enormous amount of roles and opportunities
  • reinforces the false idea that trans woman are somehow equivalent or analagous to cis men in costume 

like really thats all there is to it. theres nothing you can say that justifies this practice

(Source: whereismyhoverboard, via pixelatedtoys)

amorremanet:

Just a few periodic reminders for folks who might not know/recall:

  • when talking about trans stuff, the dfab/dmab (“designated female/male at birth”), faab/maab (“female/male assigned at birth”), cafab/camab (“coercively assigned female/male at birth”), etc. acronyms are almost always better than the, “ftm/mtf” (female to male/male to female) ones.

  • they’re preferable and overall better because they don’t invalidate trans people’s gender identities or conflate physical sex and other forms of embodiment (like breasts or other secondary sex characteristics, dressing or behaving in certain ways, etc) with gender identity.

  • the “ftm/mtf” acronyms aren’t always meant this way, but the way the language works and with all the historical/cultural associations that are attached to them, they imply that people’s gender identities depend on fulfilling certain criteria. they imply this because the “x TO y” formation implies a becoming which has a tacit assumption that any given trans person’s gender identity only becomes real if they fit certain ideas of what people of their gender identity are like.

  • this is ESPECIALLY true in the case of trans women because they regularly have their gender identities called into question if not outright dismissed if they don’t fit certain restrictive ideas of femininity and what “real women” are like.

  • and then trans women can’t win if they DO fit any of those ideas about femininity, because when a trans woman does identify with those ideas of femininity or fit into some of them, she can still get told that she isn’t “trans enough,” that she’s “oppressing women” and “appropriating womanhood” by insisting that she’s a woman and asking people to respect this, that she’s “trying to police women” by behaving and presenting herself in a way that she’s comfortable and happy with, and so on.

  • not to mention that all of these accusations against trans women are made without paying any mind to how white cis men, when they drew up the original medical criteria for determining who they’d open up medical transitioning to (both in terms of surgical transitioning and in terms of hormone therapies), wrote said criteria with restrictive gender expression policing narratives and ideas in mind, and these ideas are still often a part of how doctors evaluate who is and isn’t “worthy” of getting access to medical transition.

  • which means that a lot of trans people ESPECIALLY TRANS WOMEN may not even really like or identify with the restrictive definitions of acceptably gendered behavior but they present in these ways anyway because it’s part of getting the medical treatment they need.

  • pretty much the only time when you should use the ftm/mtf ones is when someone explicitly identifies themself as one of those rather than as dfab/dmab, etc.

  • while we’re here anyway: typos happen and that’s okay, and some people don’t speak English as a first language so they might not know this period, but there’s a space between “trans” and “woman/women” or “man/men.” so they should be, “trans women” and, “trans men,” not “transwomen” or “transmen.”

  • see, in these formations, “trans” is the adjective qualifying the nouns, “woman/women” or “man/men.” but when you say, “transwomen” or “transmen,” you’re implicitly setting them apart from cis people and othering them and implying that they aren’t women and men respectively. and like the acronyms above, this sort of thing is ESPECIALLY used against trans women as a way of invalidating and dehumanizing them, so… please, really don’t do this to trans women.

  • chances are good that you don’t mean to do this (or I’m taking it on good faith that you don’t anyway) but like… if a woman is autistic, you don’t call her an, “autisticwoman.” if a man is particularly tall, you don’t call him a, “tallman.” in these formations, “trans” works the same way: it’s an adjective describing someone and their gender, so it should be a separate word that qualifies “woman/women” or “man/men.”

  • as above: if someone identifies themself as a transwoman or as a transman without the spaces, then do respect them and that identity by calling them as such. but as a more general rule, it’s, “trans women” and “trans men.”

metaknighty:

why do straight ppl think they can whine about gay ppl “throwing their sexuality in our faces” when almost every waking second of every minute of every day of my life is filled with heterosexual romance media and heteronormativity. like u think 2 girls holding hands in public is rubbing their sexuality in ur face you have no fucking idea what queer people go through on a daily basis shut the fuck up

(Source: metaknighty, via lgbtlaughs)

Bring consent out of the bedroom. I think part of the reason we have trouble drawing the line “it’s not okay to force someone into sexual activity” is that in many ways, forcing people to do things is part of our culture in general. Cut that shit out of your life. If someone doesn’t want to go to a party, try a new food, get up and dance, make small talk at the lunchtable—that’s their right. Stop the “aww c’mon” and “just this once” and the games where you playfully force someone to play along. Accept that no means no—all the time.

theredheadbedhead:

bidyke:

princeofhyenas:

rcmclachlan:

doodlyood:

spinachandrice:

theonewholovesbooks:

thatfilthyanimal:

fawnthefeminist:

Young women are having difficulty accessing tubal ligation, despite it being a relatively safe (death rate is 1-2 per 100,000) and elective surgery.

There is a waiting period of 30 days for women seeking tubal ligation, yet no waiting period for men seeking vasectomies. 
(Source)


Young women are often discriminated against when seeking sterilization. Many doctors ask offensive questions (“What if you met a billionaire who wanted to have kids with you?”), state categorically that their patients are too young to consider the surgery, and generally act as though, as one woman who tried unsuccessfully to be sterilized at the age of 21 in the U.K. put it, ”just because I was a woman, I’d reach a point where an urge to breed would overcome all rational thought.” (Perhaps unsurprisingly, that woman’s 25-year-old husband faced no such presumptions when he asked his doctor for a vasectomy. The procedure was quickly approved.)
(Source)


Say that at 18 I slap down enough money so I could have my whole body covered head-to-toe in tattoos, piercings all over myself, a mountain of cigarettes, plastic surgery, and plan to have like 20 babies… but if I try at all to safely make it impossible for me to breed for the sake of my health suddenly its like WOAH THERE SLOW DOWN MISSY YOU’RE NOT READY FOR THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT YET

I have stage III Endometriosis, which means I have to get my uterus removed because I literally have terrible cramps ALL THE TIME and not just when I’m on my period. Now, I’ve always said I don’t want any children for personal reasons and I don’t need my uterus, really. I am not worried about that surgery and I don’t feel any kind of nostalgia over an organ I won’t ever use. 
The thing is, my doctor is a ‘man’. This ‘man’ told me I had to get pregnant right now before it’s too late. I told him I didn’t want to get pregnant and explained the multiple reasons but what, do you ask, did my doctor have to say about this? 'Well, better have a kid now because just imagine how depressing it must be being a thirty-something woman without children and a husband?'
I was diagnosed a year ago. I should have gone through surgery six months ago and I still can’t find a doctor that will perform the surgery without trying to force me to have children first. Basically, if you’re a woman you don’t have a say in what can and cannot be done to your body without a shitload of people getting in the way AND I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT.

Women are getting non-consensually sterilized in prison but no doctors in my area while tie my tubes at 24 because I might regret it? Fuck you, doctors. I have more purpose in life than dropping babies. Some of those women in prison are probably great moms and I have no interest in parenting. Let us have a say!

A dear friend of mine wanted to have her tubes tied.  She was about to give birth to twins and the doctors wouldn’t consent because she wasn’t 21 yet.  She had already had children and they still refused to let her have the procedure.

My friend got a vasectomy a week after asking his doctor for one, no problem. He was 25.
Me? I’ve asked 4 different doctors for some kind of permanent sterilisation—tubal ligation or Essure or whatever—and I get a pat on the head and a “You’d regret it if you did.”
Oh, DIDN’T REALIZE YOU HAD A DIRECT LINE TO MY BRAIN.

i’m a trans guy. i also have bad endometriosis that makes periods even more horrible (on top of the terrible dysphoria i have when i’m on one).
my family, for the longest time (i’ve been saying i don’t want kids from the time i was about 6 or 7), told me to just suck it up and get used to having periods and not think about sterilization because “you might change your mind some day”. fuck that noise, i want these organs out of me ASAP.

This is horrifying.


Why does having a uterus preclude you from being allowed to make your own medical decisions?

theredheadbedhead:

bidyke:

princeofhyenas:

rcmclachlan:

doodlyood:

spinachandrice:

theonewholovesbooks:

thatfilthyanimal:

fawnthefeminist:

Young women are having difficulty accessing tubal ligation, despite it being a relatively safe (death rate is 1-2 per 100,000) and elective surgery.

There is a waiting period of 30 days for women seeking tubal ligation, yet no waiting period for men seeking vasectomies. 

(Source)

Young women are often discriminated against when seeking sterilization. Many doctors ask offensive questions (“What if you met a billionaire who wanted to have kids with you?”), state categorically that their patients are too young to consider the surgery, and generally act as though, as one woman who tried unsuccessfully to be sterilized at the age of 21 in the U.K. put it, ”just because I was a woman, I’d reach a point where an urge to breed would overcome all rational thought.” (Perhaps unsurprisingly, that woman’s 25-year-old husband faced no such presumptions when he asked his doctor for a vasectomy. The procedure was quickly approved.)

(Source)

Say that at 18 I slap down enough money so I could have my whole body covered head-to-toe in tattoos, piercings all over myself, a mountain of cigarettes, plastic surgery, and plan to have like 20 babies… but if I try at all to safely make it impossible for me to breed for the sake of my health suddenly its like WOAH THERE SLOW DOWN MISSY YOU’RE NOT READY FOR THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT YET

I have stage III Endometriosis, which means I have to get my uterus removed because I literally have terrible cramps ALL THE TIME and not just when I’m on my period. Now, I’ve always said I don’t want any children for personal reasons and I don’t need my uterus, really. I am not worried about that surgery and I don’t feel any kind of nostalgia over an organ I won’t ever use. 

The thing is, my doctor is a ‘man’. This ‘man’ told me I had to get pregnant right now before it’s too late. I told him I didn’t want to get pregnant and explained the multiple reasons but what, do you ask, did my doctor have to say about this? 'Well, better have a kid now because just imagine how depressing it must be being a thirty-something woman without children and a husband?'

I was diagnosed a year ago. I should have gone through surgery six months ago and I still can’t find a doctor that will perform the surgery without trying to force me to have children first. Basically, if you’re a woman you don’t have a say in what can and cannot be done to your body without a shitload of people getting in the way AND I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT.

Women are getting non-consensually sterilized in prison but no doctors in my area while tie my tubes at 24 because I might regret it? Fuck you, doctors. I have more purpose in life than dropping babies. Some of those women in prison are probably great moms and I have no interest in parenting. Let us have a say!

A dear friend of mine wanted to have her tubes tied.  She was about to give birth to twins and the doctors wouldn’t consent because she wasn’t 21 yet.  She had already had children and they still refused to let her have the procedure.

My friend got a vasectomy a week after asking his doctor for one, no problem. He was 25.

Me? I’ve asked 4 different doctors for some kind of permanent sterilisation—tubal ligation or Essure or whatever—and I get a pat on the head and a “You’d regret it if you did.”

Oh, DIDN’T REALIZE YOU HAD A DIRECT LINE TO MY BRAIN.

i’m a trans guy. i also have bad endometriosis that makes periods even more horrible (on top of the terrible dysphoria i have when i’m on one).

my family, for the longest time (i’ve been saying i don’t want kids from the time i was about 6 or 7), told me to just suck it up and get used to having periods and not think about sterilization because “you might change your mind some day”. fuck that noise, i want these organs out of me ASAP.

This is horrifying.

Why does having a uterus preclude you from being allowed to make your own medical decisions?

(Source: redundant-lioness)